Two Weeks Post Op

Life sometimes is like a tightrope

You just need to get your balance and 

keep on Steppin'!

Well my friends I'm now at two weeks post-op.  I feel good, the pain from the tummy stab wounds is minimal unless I bend or turn the wrong way.  Amazing isn't it.

The scales are finally headed down, boy that was not a fun experience to gain instead of loose, it's a hard mind game to play. 

My biggest complaint right now is I'm TIRED.  But friends and family keep telling me 'it's only two weeks - give it time' they also gently remind me I'm 65 not 30 or 40.  I know, I suppose they're right but I want energy, I want to sit at my table and craft again, film my videos be a part of my crafty online world.  I want to walk and not wonder if I have the stamina to make it back home or not.  I guess I want tomorrow to be here today.  I did mention in prior posts I'm IMPATIENT, in case you didn't get that yet.

Next week we'll do the next statistic line on my chart, it has my weight and all my measurements.  I debated how often I wanted to do it, I opted for once a month and if I think about it I'll ask others at next weeks support meeting what they do.  

I don't have a new picture yet, I'll do another one real soon and post it.  I can say my giant pants (the ones I begged not to split when I wore) are now loose.  Perhaps another ten pounds and I'll be in the next size down.  I also put on a shirt today I had worn a while back but it was so tight, it pulled everywhere including the arms and today when I put it on it hangs nice in the front.  Again, Amazing, I think you'll be hearing that word a lot.

I still can't bend enough to put on shoes and socks, Paul's still in charge of that, he doesn't complain bless his heart.

I've moved up in the food category to the 2-4 week menu.  Yummy real food stuff that I haven't had in over a month.  I bought some shaved turkey breast at the deli counter and some soft Laughing Cow cheese.  And eggs, I can now have an egg.  I have some Egg Beaters so am going to start using that unless I'm craving an over easy so I have a real yolk.  

It was scary introducing real food into my diet again, I have to admit the first bites of anything new kind of scare me.  I've heard the stories of eating too much or not chewing enough and I want to avoid that scenario if at all possible.  I still chew everything forever, this from the person who used to inhale food.  Things they are a changin'!

So funny here I sit and talk about all these new foods and it's still 2 ounces or 4 tablespoons.  But you know this morning I had refried beans, yes weird thing to have on the menu but I'm sure it's because the protein it high in beans, with a soft yolked cooked egg over the top and a whisper of grated cheese.  The first thing I thought was wow, looks like a lot, the next thing that happened was I couldn't eat it all.  Again Amazing!

So I guess this is my update for this week.  I see my surgeon on Tuesday for my post-op visit and we'll see how he thinks I'm doing and also next Thursday is support group meeting, I'm really looking forward to that.  I've had a lot of good wishes and support from many on the Facebook group.  It's so good to get positive feed back from those that have already been where I am now.

And finally for the good news update - Today I'm 20 pounds down in one month!

One Week - Post Op!

My cousin posted this on Facebook this morning and boy does this sum up how I'm feeling right now.  My best friend asked me the week before surgery why (what) had changed that now I felt inside I could do this.  It's a switch in the brain that the evil food munches have  had their hands on and now the supportive little people running around my brain neurons have control on FOREVER.   

Yes I know that's cute and glib the real reason, for me anyway, is the switch in control because of the structure I am now under. I know that if I don't follow the program guidelines to a T I won't have the weight loss I want but that's the side effect the real thing is if I don't follow the guidelines I won't achieve the healthy state I want to live the rest of my life in.  This glorious tool I've allowed myself to take will give me the strength to say no and the strength to stay strong.  Hey baby that's all I need right now.  Remember I'm still on those baby steps and these 5 days (well not quite 5 for a few more hours) home from the hospital have been the pits emotionally.

I feel physically better basically minute by minute but the scales kept going in the wrong direction and I know I know you're going to say, simple stay off the scales, Yes, I know that's the answer and it's extremely hard to do.  I think myself that I've finally beginning to take off the 11 yep that's right 11 pounds I had gained since I walked through the hospital door on the 16th.  Now wouldn't that scare you a tad if you knew you weren't eating but munchkin portions and still the scales kept going up?  Yesterday and today seem to be taking a reverse pattern, yep that's me you're hearing doing the Yippee-Ky-Ay dance around here.  Well with the pulled and tucked stomach dance, it's not as cute as it sounds.  But I'm still happy to see things moving in the right direction, DOWN.

I'm amazed frankly that I'm not gnawing off the doorknobs but I'm really not hungry. Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner are great, the foods ok but I'm not dying to eat it and sometimes have trouble finishing. Remembering to NOT drink while I eat is a major hang up for me.  I didn't realize how much I drank while eating, but there again those old tricks we've all used so many times along the way, fill up on water and you won't eat a much, don't apply to me anymore.  For those of you not familiar with the ByPass diet of life you don't drink 30 minutes prior or after your meal. 

So all in all I'm still a very happy camper I did this, as time moves forward and pounds shed I know I will be even happier.  A lot of the bloat I had before surgery is still gone, even though the scales are being stinky.  My pants, even my jeans come on without undue distress (yanking -- pulling -- finally pleading, don't you suckers rip on me!) 

As much as I hate to post it here's the photo of me the morning we left for the Hospital on January 16th.  Seems like eons ago.

Keep in mind this is a 

'NO MAKE-UP

NO HAIR PRODUCT'

photo!  And as far as I'm concerned

the last one you'll ever see of me like this!!!

Up & At it, well barely :-)

~~~Appreciation, it's what you have       

when you realize how much you had

you took for granted!!~~~

Hello my friends and wonderful supporters.  This is my first attempt at being at the computer, actually the first time I've turned it on.  That's really saying something for this techno world addicted fool.

I had a SHOWER I know that doesn't sound like much but boy that water was Heaven.  I even have graduated my menu to include creamed soup today.  Paul shuddered as he handed it to me but I thought it tasted pretty gourmet!  I opted for 3 Tablespoons along with a couple teaspoons of my new found friend Benifiber, lol.  

Isn't it amazing the things you find you need in your cupboard.  I'm not a real fan of the chewable muti vitamins we got but better than the horse pill ones I had been taking Pre-OP but I'll manage for a couple of months until I feel like I can swallow something else.

A little bit goes a long ways toward activity, I'm surprised a body can rest so much and still feel like it could fall asleep at a moments notice.  

Well I think I'll high step, nope baby step, myself back to my recliner with my heating pad on my tummy and just see what the insides of my eyelids look like for a little bit.  I opted to cut back on the Loratab Elixiar pain medicine, oh gag me.  They make it that awful so you won't want to stay on it very long.  I had my regular dose last night and another half after the shower, that should be plenty for today.  I know pain meds can really mess up the natural flow of things and I'm trying to get that back so maybe less of those and more Benifiber will do the trick.

Day four --- am I sorry I did this, not on your life!  Best decision I ever made and it will be even more so once the scales stop being evil and retaining those stupid pounds that came back.  Not really too bothered, what doesn't go through the lips, over the gums straight to mini tummy can't put on pounds and pretty soon the scales will get the message and get with the program as well.

I'm Home

Baby steps

I came home yesterday afternoon and realize it's going to be a little bigger haul than I thought.

Andi I the bariatric nurse called this morning to check on me and answer the questions I had so far.

Even though I feel on the rough side today each day is amazing on how my body heals.  I'm not hungry at all. We'll see if that lasts.

Really tired so this is a short note to just let you know I'm alive and kicking!

And the weirdest thing yet.  I gained six pounds during my resort hospital stay. Must have bee that gourmet jello!

Hugs my friends. Will right more later.  Thanks for your support.

It's a Date!

~~~Even though the walkway bends

our path leads us in the right direction~~~

Well I just got my call from the Hospital and we don't have to be there until 11 am tomorrow, I really wish it had been earlier but it is what it is.  Now picture this... absolutely no makeup and I have to wash my hair dry it with no product in it.  I am just going to be the picture of beauty huh?  LOL, much better looking than when I come out from surgery I'm sure.  

I still have to pack a small bag today with some essentials and a couple of changes of clothes and that's about it.  I find it interesting they want me to take two changes of clothes, it used to be you wore an open butt hospital gown and made do so I'm not sure what I'll be wearing.  I'm just trying to kill time now and not get too keyed up before tomorrow.  

It's so hard to imagine what this next stage of my life will be like.  I try to visualize only eating 4 Tablespoons of food and being satisfied, it's a mind boggler.  I will definitely be proof you can teach an old dog new tricks for I plan on succeeding.  I just have to remember to take a breath and concentrate on this moment in time and not keep jumping to far forward.

Now for the last scales reveal before I head to the hospital --- 14 pounds!  I have no complaints, 14 pounds is a real good thing!

Thanks my friends, your support and emails and encouragement have helped me reach this point and words cannot express how much that means to me.  I appreciate you hitching a ride on this journey I'm embarking on.  

I'll update in the hospital if I feel up to it, otherwise see you in a few days!

New Beginnings Support Group

~~~The beginning is always today ~~~

Support Group Meeting

On Thursday Paul went with me to the support group.  I've only been to three but each one had about 45-60 minutes of everyone in the group sharing about themselves.  Where they were in their progress, problems, successes, etc.   This time there were so many new people, at least half the group.  When the speaker got done two people got up and left and then the rest began to follow pace.  I was so disappointed, I'd really looked forward to this part of the meeting I always feel so inspired and find I can get answers to questions I have. 

We stayed anyway and visited with other couples, some who were just beginning the process, some who had surgery dates scheduled like me and otheres that had already been through the process of Weight Loss Surgery.  This helps because Paul can voice questions to someone who has been in the spot he's soon to be in.  And, you look at things differently when you're the one giving support and care and when you're the one actually going through the process.  Things he has concerns about I hadn't even thought about.  So all in all, even though it was like previous meetings, it was well worth going to.

Yesterday's roller coaster  

Yesterday was probably my worst day since I've started on the liquid diet.  I felt like a slug, couldn't get motivated and just didn't feel good most of the day.  I took a nap during the day, something I rarely did and went to bed early.  Today was so much better, I've accomplished a few things and don't have the hunger pangs I  had yesterday.  I think that yesterday was the first time in this process since I've thought about food, you know the demons in the brain painting little pictures of food and encouraging you to eat. Somehow they've been pretty quiet this last week and I'm not sure what brought them alive today. At least it was short lived because today has seemed to be back on track.

Drum Roll please..................... 

the good news is I'm down 12 pounds, wow unreal.  You go day by day for what seems eons having this pleading little conversation with yourself at night when you go to bed that tomorrow you're going to do better, stay on track and not eat.  Morning rolls around and the cycle begins.  At least that was the past scenario, now it's different I've turned that bend and somehow it's all clicked inside, I know this is the path I'm suppose to be on and the way I'm suppose to proceed so cheating or eating something isn't even in my brain waves.  I like it this way, I like this new strength.  I'm on my way!

Half Way Point - Pre Op Diet

Ok I'm to the halfway mark on the Pre-Op liquid diet and I must say............YUCK ... I'll be glad when this is over.  Now don't read this the wrong way, I'm not complaining I'm glad I'm moving forward toward an end goal and lifestyle change.  That being said the shakes have a milk base and milk and I have never gotten along.  I find I am spending a large amount of time in the Great Throne Room, thank goodness for Wi-Fi and I can take my Kindle!  Also I'm very thankful that my friend steered me to Pure Citrus room spray. I'm sure there are all kinds of these types sprays around but I love the clean fresh smell of citrus and this one works well, just saying.....

I've kind of gotten the shakes down to a palpable taste mixture putting some of this and that together in my glass and trying to make sure I get all the required protein in during the day, calories are a little iffy.  Can you believe that I am saying calories are iffy, who is this person and what happened to the gorger who ate enough calories in a day for several people.  I spoke to Andi at the surgical center and she said do the best I could and that's what I'm doing.  As long as no solid food crosses my lips and I stay with the liquid drinks, water, coffee and broth parameters I think I'm doing ok.

I do find that my stomach feels bloated and full most of the time, just a word to those that are reading this and venturing on this road.  I think this two week period must be super for purging all the sugars, fats and toxins from my body, my goodness not much going in and lots coming out.

So just a short update for those of you sweet people following and giving me support.  Oh and 'slapping my forehead' I forgot (I forgot how in the world did that happen) I'm down 10 pounds!!!  

Tonight is the New Beginnings support group meeting at the Health and Performance Center here in town.  I've been to several I suppose as a lurker because until tonight I didn't really feel like one of the group.  In the meetings I've attended I've always come away feeling optimistic and uplifted by what those around me that have shared.  Post-Op of the group range from a week to 10 plus years a great overall view of how the new process will work and a wealth of first hand experience to draw from as I move from stage to stage.  Paul's joining me tonight, there's always several men that go, some that have had surgery and others like him are there to support their other half.  I feel grateful that he'll attend with me and is as supportive as he's been.  Of course he'd hoped there would be a less drastic way to loose and maintain but I know he feels my pain and realizes this is the best choice for me and for my health.

It's amazing you wait so long for something to happen and in the course of six weeks the dream will be a reality.  Kind of like waiting for Christmas when you were 5 and sure it would never arrive and then Wham Santa has shimmied down the chimney and left bunches of goodies.  Well Santa time is almost here for me as well and I tell you I can hardly wait for the 16th to be here and gone and just move on with the life style changes that are going to take place to create a new healthier me.

Fridge Reveal

OK today we made a run to stock up on Protein Drinks for the next 12 days.  We had some but not enough for the duration.  I'm not sure if I mentioned that Paul is doing the Pre-OP liquid diet with me.  I can't imagine I could be strong enough (or have enough will power) to know I could eat real food and still do the Protein thing if roles were reversed. What a good guy!

So I was sure the clerk at Target would make some strange comment as we checked out our hoard of Atkins, Kellogg, Protein Power etc.  But, she just chatted away, maybe it's not as abnormal as I think for people to buy multiple (like a dozen) 4 packs of this stuff at a time.  The man behind us was giving it a once over though.  I wanted to pop in his brain for a few seconds and see if he was thinking 'wow look at them taking such a positive approach so early in the new year' or 'what! those fat people think they're going to get skinny drinking that stuff'.  

So I'm almost done with day three and we're still civil to one another, really I'm not hungry, I'm sure it will come but I'll take each day that's like this as a blessing.  And on the most positive note I can give you, we're down 4 pounds each!!!  Woo Hoo that's a winner right there.

So my friend Paula reminded me today that I need to take pictures.  They took one the day I went to the Pre-Op seminar.  But sigh, I had Paul take two shots one looking straight at him and one side view.  I tell you being overweight isn't hard when you try to stay out from in front of the camera, but when you see it in full color it's a hard pill to swallow. Secondly we did the Pre-Op measurements today.  Now let me tell you that was hard so hard, a few teary moments, to see those numbers in black and white.  You can only kid yourself so long, but when the numbers go on the sheet all kidding is gone, there's no hiding.  And Paul, bless his heart he didn't say a word just told me the inches and moved on to the next one.  

So without further ado....... Here I am in all my fluff, look closely because this extra person that's been on my back (middle, thighs, hips, arms, cheeks, feet, toes, nose, well you get the picture) is going to be shrinking before your very eyes!

Pre-Op Photos

On a side note - I think it's funny, I was so worried about having these pictures taken I forgot I didn't have shoes on, don't you love these funky socks!!

Pre-Op Diet Day One

No I'm not really going to post fourteen days of drinking my drinks, lol.  But I did want to say I've made it through almost all of today without chewing on the doorknobs or biting Pauls head off, 1 day down 13 to go!

For the next two weeks I need to drink things like Aikins or Slim Fast which total up to around 60 grams of protein a day and between 900-1200 calories.  That's it!

I can't complain when a relative had the surgery five years ago she could only drink milk for two weeks, I'm not sure I could have done that, I really hate milk and have never ever drank it.  In second grade when I'd buy lunch I'd give my milk to the pets we had in the room, funny the things you remember. 

And........ on an even worse note, the surgeon told me the other day that when they first discovered the fatty liver problems they used to put people on this diet for a month before surgery so I'm not complaining about two weeks.  They found through studies over the years that there wasn't a significant difference in four weeks versus two.  Thanks goodness.  Four weeks of this and I'm sure Paul would be staying at a motel to get away from me.

I opted for a combo of Atkins, Costco and Premier Protein drink. I think on Monday when we're out doing errands I'm going to pick up some Slim Fast, I've had that before and it's not bad.  I really don't have enough calories with four drinks a day so I may have to add another.  Four, let me tell you, is more than enough, especially for someone who isn't a milk or chocolate milk drinker.  I opted to poor my drinks over ice and drink them with a straw.  Thank goodness I can have coffee, that helps.  I'm trying to drink my water, that's never been a problem, but for some reason now that I know I have to drink 60 plus ounces a day it seems like a lot.

I've tried to stay at my desk and craft today, keeping my mind off food.  I did notice a couple of interesting things.  When talking on the phone with my girlfriend I found myself wanting to get up and get something to eat while chatting.  I think I have done this a lot without really realizing it.  Also, when the evening news came on I instantly thought, hmm dinnertime, and then the next second reality kicked in and I realized nope not tonight.  Another automatic trigger.  Evening will be the worst, it may be early bedtime for the next couple of weeks since I tended to be an evening grazer, not hungry but just grazing.  Interesting how many things I've done by rote instead of by hunger.  I'm sure as time goes by I'll find there's a lot more of those habits lurking just under the surface.  They say 21 days to change a habit and what 6 months to make it stick.  Things will be a changin' that's for sure.

So I'll leave you on a photo note, I thought I'd start adding some photos of me through the years so I could share some years where pretty plump and some years almost normal, those were far and few between though I think.

These are all pre-school photos.  as you can see when I was  a little tyke I wasn't overly heavy.  I only weighed 6 pounds 6 ounces when I was born, you'd think that would stick wouldn't you?

I wonder if because my brother Billy and cousin Johnny still thought I was fun to play with at this age I ran and played more and stayed fit.  Next time I'll share early school years.