Nothing tastes as good
as a Normal size feels!
Author unknown
I just finished a book, Stranger Here, by Jen Larsen, it's about her Weight Loss Journey. It was good, I laughed a lot, it's a little out there in places but the gist of it is WLS doesn't change the 'who' that you are inside. She talked about how she 'saw' herself on the inside. It reminded me of eons ago when I was young.
I always thought I was so huge but when I graduated high school. I weighed 150 lbs and was 5'6" tall, if I had had a BMI chart then I would have realized I fell in the normal range, something now I covert very badly.
I went out with a big strapping cowboy one night, a friend of my girlfriends. We all ended up at a local park that had playground equipment, you know, slides and swings and all. He wanted me to slide down the slide and I said no, I was so afraid I wouldn't fit, you know it's that mental image thing that I had in my head. I'm sure I thought I was at least twice my size in other people's eyes. If only I had known then, really saw what I looked like maybe I'd gotten hold of my weight instead of grown into that image I had plastered in my mind.
Anyway, I digress. When I kept telling him no, he gave me one warning and told me if I didn't go down the slide he'd pick me up and put me down. Well yeah right, I can still remember thinking he'd never try that I'd break his back. BUT, he did it, he picked me up and hoisted me on that slide like I was nothing. I still remember the amazement that welled up inside me at the knowledge he didn't keel over, wasn't winded and laughed the whole time. Someone actually picked me up.
Well, that was 47 years ago and that memory is burned in my brain, I hadn't pulled it out for years until this book washed away the shadows and there I was in the air on the way down the slide.
The kicker is I guess is that I want my mental image and the reality image to come together but today, after reading this book for the past two days non-stop I wonder how long it will take for those to realities to collide and become one. I read on one of the forums today about maintenance and reaching you goal weight. That's something my mind never settles on, just seems to skim over because I can't imagine 'goal' or 'maintenance' I've never made it near there before.
Today the scales were kind, the second time this week, I'm down another 2 lbs. That's 41 now people 41 pounds gone for good. Logically, like Spook would say, I know this whole process is well, a process, of learning and accepting a new me, but it will take me a while to realize that 'goal' and 'maintenance' are real terms that down the road I'll have in my vocabulary as well.
Thanks for letting me share my walk down memory lane!
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