Super Milestone Achieved!!!

Today's one of my biggest milestones achieved.  100 pounds lost!  I couldn't believe it when I stepped on the scales.  We've had family here visiting for the past few days, eaten out twice, feed them several times and still the scales has continued to drop.  I'm so happy and it's such a positive reinforcement to the negative buggers in my brain, that I'm on the right track and I've got it covered!

Seven Months and Counting

I have been so bad about posting to this blog.  I had full intentions of coming here after my FANTASTIC six month check up the Dr Speakman in July and here it is late August and I still haven't done it.  So today I'm catching up with last month and this month. I found this on Facebook and it sums up exactly what I'm feeling.  

 

In July I hit the 90lbs lost mark the day I saw my surgeon.  To say he was delighted was an understatement.  I follow up again for my 9 month mark in October.  He basically told me to keep on keepin' on and that my pounds would not continue to fall off at the rate they had in the first six months.  

I'm seeing that first hand and it's the results of two things in my opinion. 

One - I can eat more!  and I'm hungry!  I can digest, without discomfort more food at one time.  I think I liked it better when I was bitching and moaning that I couldn't eat anything.  It's really frightening to be able to each more at each meal, and want to eat it.  I had a colonoscopy last month too and Dr. Speakman's PA called to check up on me.  She said as she was reading my chart and asked is this right?  you've lost 90lbs since January.  When I assured her that was right she went on and on about what a great job I'd done yada yada yada.  When I voiced my fears about now liking more foods and being able to eat more volume she calmly told me 'You've got this!"  you wouldn't have gotten where you are now if you didn't understand the principles.  She says, when you're hungry other than mealtime, what are you eating?  Are you reaching for chips, dips, candy sweets?  When I assured her no I don't eat those things she again replied 'You've got this!".  I've replayed that simple sentence many many times since that conversation and I think she's right  

 I've Got This!

Two - My food base has grown!  I can eat such a variety of things now salad, fruit, nuts, a certain type of whole grain-whole seed cracker, bread thins, etc etc etc.  Again SCARY!  And again I stay away from carb laden foods like pastas, rice, potatoes, breads etc.  I can eat the low card tortillas and I've found the best ones, in my opinion, are Tumaro's Low-in-Carb wraps. I'm not able to buy them locally here in Southern Utah but when I was home visiting family in April I got them at Fresh Express in  the Vancouver/Portland area.  If you're looking for a good low card, low fat wrap that doesn't turn to paste in your mouth try these even if you have to  have them shipped to you!  I also stay away from that "S" word SUGAR!  I do have sugar, how can you not it's in just about everything prepared but I'm super careful about how much and what kind I eat.  And really I don't have the cravings for sweets and chips.  OMG is this me talking the bag-at-a time chip lady? 

 Things have changed and I'm so thankful for it.  Clothes are fitting so much better.  I'm in 18's and XL's now!  and they fit, not suck it in and squeeze it in but pull it up and zip it with no problem.  That's still a sigh moment each morning! 

The scales are still moving downward a pound a week on average but I consume more calories each day and we've been away from the gym for two weeks, that has to make a difference as well.  That old 'voice in the head' still haunts me.  Well you may not make goal, you've never done it before, you may not loose anymore, this may be it.  Finally I scream shut up and I'm pretty good for a while until the second cousin of the first crawls in my head with self doubts again.  I think this will be pretty much an ongoing thing with me and it's something I'll just have to wrestle with for a good many years if not forever.  After all it's easy to base your present on your past and my food/weight was not to stellar in the past instead of your present on what can become your future.  Once I get below certain weight points I'm sure the good fairies will enter my grey matter and start cheering my on saying "See we told you you could do this!"  It's a matter of concurring the old stumbling blocks the ones I've hit many times in this roller coaster ride of weight that are my pause moments.  Then lo and behold I see the scales begin to move again and I think, no Patti this time is different, this time is forever and it's gonna keep moving on down until I hit goal - which for me is more a healthy BMI instead of a number on the scale.

Here's some a new pic for you.  I posted it on Facebook with a disclosure regarding my new glasses, my new doo, and my 'just shy of' 100lb weight loss.  I debated on whether to out myself this way.  Close friends, family, those that have asked, my support group, etc know I had WLS but some many friends/family on Facebook didn't.  But hey I'm happy with what I've done and with what I'm accomplishing.  Perhaps one person that struggling will see this picture and that post and ask some questions that could change their lives forever as well.  I'm most happy to talk about what I've been going through with anyone!

Taken 8-22-2015

We have family here this weekend and we went to eat out twice since they've been here.  Once at the Black Bear diner where I scoured the menu trying to decide what could I eat.  I finally settled on a burger with a lettuce wrap instead of bun, gave the two onion rings away and opted for fruit instead of fries, hey I'm getting the hang of this and the wait staff don't treat me like I'm wierd!

Last night we hit Texas Roadhouse and I ended up with a house salad, which was good and stayed put with no problem, I did ask for the dressing on the side.  For the main course I was surprised I  had lots of options and ended up with the ribs and fresh veggies (and I asked for no butter on the veggies).  I'm learning they don't care and I feel better knowing I'm staying on track.  Of course over half my meal came home in a doggy bag and I was STUFFED.  I'm still shaking my head, this journey is amazing.  

So ok, I hope to be back tomorrow or the next day with the simple sentence.  I broke 100 lbs lost.  Even if it's next week or the week after I know it's gonna happen!

So Many NSVs

So much has happened since I last posted and I have so many NSVs (non-scale victories) to share with you.

• I took a trip to visit family and didn't need a seat belt extender
• I bought clothes off the rack and they were no where near the Women's Plus sizes
• I ate out in a restaurant and survived
• I sat in normal sized chairs and lawn chairs without the fear of them breaking
• I bowled over family and friends with the new me

So much of this life transition comes in small daily steps so it's hard to see or appreciate them when it's you looking in that mirror seeking out the change.  I knew the scales was continuing to go down but it wasn't until I was home shopping with my daughter that the real realization of what I'd been doing hit home.

We went to a local store because the capri's I'd brought with me for my trip to see family and friends in Washington State were literally falling off me!  I brought over some clothes I'd picked to try on from the Women's Plus section for my daughters opinion.  Her eyebrows scrunched and I knew she wasn't happy with my choices.  I took them back and told her ok that's why I brought you, you pick.

When she headed toward a regular Misses' rack of jean capris I just cringed but didn't say anything, we continued adding things to be tried on, mostly 18's and XL's.  It was hot and I was thinking what a waste of time this is going to be.   UNTIL ----- I tried on the first outfit.  OMG it actually fit, zipped up, buttoned the whole nine yards with no problems.  When I looked at the person in the mirror I thought Oh WOW I can see the difference now.  I stood in the dressing room giggling like a teenager and jumping up and down because it was there, right in front of me, reflecting back the struggles and stumbling blocks and revealing the beginnings of a new me!  Such a fantastic end result of this surgery.

Here's one of the outfits snapped outside in my daughters yard.  Yeah that woman there with the big grin, that's me hardly containing my happiness.  This is the 'slap you in the face' result of 88 pounds lost.  Yes 88 POUNDS!  

The 'other people won't notice' results are 

• I can walk across the width of the airport at Vegas hauling my 90# carry on purse and dragging my 50# suitcase with no ill effects.  In fact I didn't even stop to gasp for air, that's an accomplishment!
• I can walk to the mailbox, a whole six houses down, and not wonder if I'm going to make it back in one piece.
• I can climb the steps at the gym, all twenty-four of them, and not have to stop at the 12th on the landing and get the stamina to climb the last 12
• I can sit in a normal sized persons chair and not wonder if it will collaspe under me.
• I can put on underwear without feeling choked or squeezed to death, in fact it's time for a change what I have is WAYYYYYYY too big
• I can bounce out of bed, walk around, play with my youngest Granddaughter, etc etc etc, with freedom
• I can move around without limbs like knees, and feet and shoulders and back feeling like they are going to give under the stress

I'm including this picture of my darling little stinkpot, Brynn, she's my youngest Grandchild and will turn 6 in September.  This was taken the day I left at the Portland Airport.  See the difference in size between us, Bynnie weighs 42 pounds.  I have now lost 2 Brynnies!!!!  The thought of one of her under each arm everywhere I go really puts the loss of pounds into perspective.  No wonder I had no energy, no stamina and felt like I was going to collapse any second! 

So now I'm on to the next goals

• to loose another Brynnie 
• to loose 90 pounds by July 16th which is my six month mark
• to surpass the 100 pound mark which is only 12 pounds away
• to hid onederland which is 28 pounds away
• to keep on keeping on, which is the only way to live life!

 

And just to share the difference, I found this photo when I transferred all my iPhone photos to my computer last week.  Wow, I think there is a difference don't you?

Thanks for joining me, I have my six month check up with my surgeon, Dr Speakman on Monday the 6th so I'll let you know how that goes.

On the Way

Many of you have noticed my new Avatar, yep the new me, shorter hair and all.  This morning when I hopped on the scales it greeted me with a YaaaaaaaaaHoooo and 2 more pounds gone.  That makes a grand total of 77 pounds, wow oh wow.  But the benchmark I'd been looking for was seeing my BMI hit in the 30's and this morning this did it.  That's a long was from the low 50's BMI I started with in January.  It's no wonder that walking six houses down to get the mail  had me totally exhausted.  Or buying groceries required me to stop half way from the parking lot to the store and then latching onto a cart just to maintain an upright position.  I'm so lucky!  I'm so fortunate!  I respect this new tool and lease on life I've been given.

So friends I'm off to see my family this Saturday, I'm flying the big bird from Las Vegas to Portland for a three week stay.  This will be the first time in many many years that I won't have to ask for a seat belt extender.  That's so humiliating but would be even more so if I had to make a big fuss once in my seat because the darn thing wouldn't fit around me!  Thanks goodness for those NSVs (non-scale victories) and this one is a big one in my book!

I am noticing such a big difference at the gym.  Yesterday I walked 30 minutes on the treadmill at a 1/2 incline, raising up to 2 near the end at 3 mph.  Wow what a difference from a while back when I could barely get it to 2 1/2 mph without thinking I'd die.

I love the one bike they have there but my tailbone doesn't.  I think I bruised it on the bike when I first started trying to use it and it's so sore.  I think the 3 weeks away will do it good and help it heal.  I'm hoping anyway.

My blood tests came back A OK this week. The new potassium the doctor put me on last month is doing the trick because my levels are back in the normal range.  Next month, July, I see Dr. Speakman for my six month check up, how did that happen already?  Anyway he's doing a full blown blood panel to check among other things, my B levels because I know that's a big deal with Gastric Bypass as well.

I have one concern/problem/irritation. I've lost a lot of my taste since surgery and checking this out on Google confirms that I'm not a lone wolf this happens to lots of WLS patients.  Some gradually get it back, some it's just a way of life. 

Going home is exciting and daunting.  Paul and I haven't eaten out, we've bought stuff and brought it home but sit down, pick stuff off a menu we've avoided.  Not only for me but he's really watching the sugar, carbs and fat too.  Going home brings my sheltered life to a screeching halt.  I'll need to eat around others outside my pristine environment, learn how to pick my way through a menu and watch others eat things we've been avoiding.  It's not that I can't do this, of course I can, it's just another step in the 'normal' road to real life learning and eating.  It's all in the process of recovery from food addiction.

So I'll check in later and let you know how I did and I'll have family take some pictures of the new me that's emerging.  I'll tell you another NSV, I'm wearing size 20 as I  head home, I started out in a skin tight, lets lay on the bed and zip these up, size 26.  Life is good, life is good!

One Year Ago

I just thought I'd share a photo that was taken last year at this time.  It popped up on Facebook this morning.  Yep, that's me on the front right.  Wow what a difference.  I can't wait to see what another year will make!  Funny how when you're in the midst of battling your weight and in denial you don't see yourself as you are.  I look back at pictures and think I didn't see that person when I looked in the mirror.  I'm glad I'm on this new journey it may be quite difficult at times but I know I'm headed in the right direction.

I got the results back from the Cardiologist office and all is well.  A few minor things, I really hate to say but I think age related, that will have to be monitored every couple of years but all in all the stress test and Ecko were A OK.  So my flights have been booked for next month and I'm off to Washington State to see family and friends for 3 weeks. This will be the first time in I don't know how long I won't have to ask for a seat belt extender on the plane Wooo Hoooo!

Also had my first blood tests done since surgery.  The Potassium is a little low so not sure whether I'll need to add supplements at this point or the Doctor will wait and see what next months tests bring.

I'll be meeting up with this group of friends again this year so we'll do an updated photo so I can compare shots!

A New Me is Emerging!

You cannot change anyone

or please everyone.

Be true to yourself

and life will unfold

in Beautiful ways!

                                Anna Taylor

OK as promised updated photos, the shirts too big but I'm at a crunch time for clothes at the moment, still not quite small enough to get into the 20's and the 22's are too big.............soon

I didn't realize the camera was still taking shots but this is a better shot, even though fuzzy since I'm moving. I think this is how I really look instead of stiff and still and posing, which I don't do well.

Update today....................... 69 pounds gone forever!!!

Long Time No Talk~

May the sun bring you new energy by day,

May the moon softly restore you by night,

May the rain wash away your worries,

May the breeze blow new strength into your being,

May you walk gently through the world

and know it's beauty all the days of your life.

                                                                             Apache Blessing

I know it's been forever since I've posted but life has been a roller coaster this past few weeks.  I told you I'd met with the surgeon mid March and wasn't exactly happen with his review of the swelling in my feet and legs.  The 2nd of April I went to my family doctor and he was truly upset.  He put me back on the water pills and wanted to see me in a week.  He told me he thought I had 30 pounds of water in my legs.  WHAT??? no way! Well I ended up back in his office a day early April 8th with an upper respiratory virus.  I was also 16 pounds YES 16 pounds down!  I went home with antibiotics and cough medicine and was told to do nothing just rest.  Well, duh, the way I felt that was no problem at all.

Doctor also gave me a standing order for the next 3 months to have blood work done, just to make sure everything is staying where it should be and I don't need to be adding extra supplements, which happens quite often with WLS (Weight Loss Surgery) patients.  It's a major relief to feel like someone is watching out for you.  So now between the Surgeon, the Family Doctor and the Cardiologist I should be well covered.

Yes I snuck in Cardiologist in there but I really think this is a precautionary measure. Because of the swelling in my legs and feet my Doctor felt I should have a stress test to make sure there were no problems with my heart.  Since I was too ill to do that for the first two weeks I opted to just make an appointment with the Heart of Dixie cardiologist Dr. Jamison Jones.  We're familiar with him and have confidence in his opinions so I feel much better just starting out there, that appointment is this coming Monday and once I get the go ahead (see I'm assuming they won't think I need to schedule the stress test) I'm hot footing it to the computer to book a flight home to see my family, it's been much much too long.

When you're carrying a hundred plus too many pounds it's not a pleasant thing to ride a shuttle for two hours then maneuver the Las Vegas airport and fly another two plus hours in a cramped seat that is way too small for you.  Thank goodness this time I fly there will be no more extenders for the seat belt.  Never ever again.  In the WLS forums NSV's are non-scale victories, this 'no more extender' is a HUGE NSV for me.

I've made another trip to the donation center to drop off more toooo-big clothes and I have another full bag in my closet.  I am so thankful I didn't toss anything away.  Some may not be my favorites but they're getting me by as my body transitions and changes size.

So let's get on with the number and stats, this is the fun part, at least for this blog post it's a fun part!

I'm now 98 days Post-Surgery
                                      and I've lost a total of 67 lbs.  I am very happy with this!
As far as inches go
                             Since the first of the year
                                         I've lost 6" in my waist
                                         9" in my hips, no wonder clothes are getting looser!
                                         over 5" in each thigh
                                         and 2" in each calf.  
 It's an amazing process I'll tell you.

I have had some moments of doubts, last week was the worst.  I didn't feel like eating and when I did nothing tasted good.  I was so tired of being tired and so depressed from just everyday droll-drums of having a bug that wouldn't go away.  I began to wonder if this was my life and perhaps I'd made the wrong decision.  But yesterday and today I've crossed a bridge, I feel better, my energy is better, my appetite is better and the whole world is a much better place.  I do not regret having Bypass.  I'm just impatient and want to erase a lifetime of bad habits in a few months time.... not gonna happen.

So my dear friends and supporters I'll leave you with this little ditty I found on Facebook (and yes, new picture coming really soon).

Walking Down Memory Lane

Nothing tastes as good

as a Normal size feels!

                                   Author unknown

I just finished a book, Stranger Here, by Jen Larsen, it's about her Weight Loss Journey.  It was good, I laughed a lot, it's a little out there in places but the gist of it is WLS doesn't change the 'who' that you are inside.  She talked about how she 'saw' herself on the inside.  It reminded me of eons ago when I was young.

I always thought I was so huge but when I graduated high school.  I weighed 150 lbs and was 5'6" tall, if I had had a BMI chart then I would have realized I fell in the normal range, something now I covert very badly.

I went out with a big strapping cowboy one night, a friend of my girlfriends.  We all ended up at a local park that had playground equipment, you know, slides and swings and all. He wanted me to slide down the slide and I said no, I was so afraid I wouldn't fit, you know it's that mental image thing that I  had in my head.  I'm sure I thought I was at least twice my size in other people's eyes.  If only I had known then, really saw what I looked like maybe I'd gotten hold of my weight instead of grown into that image I had plastered in my mind.

Anyway, I digress.  When I kept telling him no, he gave me one warning and told me if I didn't go down the slide he'd pick me up and put me down.  Well yeah right, I can still remember thinking he'd never try that I'd break his back.  BUT, he did it, he picked me up and hoisted me on that slide like I was nothing.  I still remember the amazement that welled up inside me at the knowledge he didn't keel over, wasn't winded and laughed the whole time.  Someone actually picked me up.

Well, that was 47 years ago and that memory is burned in my brain, I hadn't pulled it out for years until this book washed away the shadows and there I was in the air on the way down the slide.

The kicker is I guess is that I want my mental image and the reality image to come together but today, after reading this book for the past two days non-stop I wonder how long it will take for those to realities to collide and become one.   I read on one of the forums today about maintenance and reaching you goal weight.  That's something my mind never settles on, just seems to skim over because I can't imagine 'goal' or 'maintenance' I've never made it near there before.

Today the scales were kind, the second time this week, I'm down another 2 lbs.  That's 41 now people 41 pounds gone for good.   Logically, like Spook would say, I know this whole process is well, a process, of learning and accepting a new me, but it will take me a while to realize that 'goal' and 'maintenance' are real terms that down the road I'll have in my vocabulary as well.

Thanks for letting me share my walk down memory lane!

Two Month Check-Up

Be Patient

Hide your Scale

Don't compare yourself to others

Ride this ride for all it's worth

YOU ARE WORTH IT!

                                                  lifted from a forum post

I met with my Surgeon yesterday for my two month check-up.  I don't go back until July, at six months, that's a tad scary!

He's still at the point where I should not weigh or track a thing even the protein.  Fill up the palm of my hand (not literally, lol) mostly with protein and be good to go.  Eat 2 or 3 meals a day and concentrate on getting all my water in.  Seems way too simplistic to me but I'm sure his ultimate goal is that I learn by a visual of how much and what I can eat. I'm not sure I can not track things.  I'll try for a week and see how I do.

He said the same as all of you, stay off the scales.  So I'm determined to only weigh myself once or twice a week, instead of several times a day.  I was disappointed I wasn't down further on his scales since they always seem to weigh light. But it was mid-afternoon and I'd eaten two meals and drank a lot of water.

I'm having a lot of trouble with the swelling in my feet, sometimes up to my knees. I really didn't get a good answer for that either.  Keep a watch if it gets worse check with my family doctor or a cardiologist. Hmm, I wanted a little more than that.  

Next week we're going to hit the gym every day.  I'll still continue to do the treadmill the 3 days a week, it's all my knee can seem to handle at this point in time.  On the off days I'll hit the weights and see if I can start building up some muscle.

I did ask about his goal weight and we were spot on together.  Both wanting to get in the normal BMI range.  That's all I ask.  And, sigh, I've resigned myself it's going to take longer than I had thought.  But that's ok, there's no contest or race going on here, just pounds off to get to a permanently healthier me. After all it's taken me years and years to get where I am.

So that's the update, nothing exciting, just keep plugging along!

The Will to Win

The will to win, the desire to succeed, 

the urge to reach your full potential... 

these are the keys that will 

unlock the door to 

personal excellence.

                                              Confucius

I spoke to both my girls a couple of days ago on Facetime and both remarked that they could really begin to see a difference in my face and neck.  I'm seeing it too. The scales aren't down anymore but everything is changing.  The new sized clothes that were wearable but snug a week ago are loose today.  I see hanging skin, sigh, a new side effect I'm afraid, in my arms that was puffed up and full weeks ago.

So just for hee-haws I went back and found some pictures of me to share. Some, like the 2010 photo above were so hard for me to look at.  Wow did I look like that? Amazing how you ignore the fact of how big you are getting.  Perhaps that's why I hated having my picture taken.  I always had the camera in hand to take photos of others but hated them of me.

Here's the part of the photo I didn't want to show.  These are my girls, and look at me, I'm huge as a balloon.  The good thing is, even though right now I have tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat I know these days are gone.  I'll never have another photo taken where I look like this.  I remember getting around that day, and that was 5 years ago.  It was hard, I was tired.  No wonder.  With all this extra weight we as fat people don't move too much, it's too hard.

So onward and I'll end with the same quote I started with because it's so appropriate for how I'm feeling at this moment in time. The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential.  These are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.  Confucius was one smart cookie!