I have been so bad about posting to this blog. I had full intentions of coming here after my FANTASTIC six month check up the Dr Speakman in July and here it is late August and I still haven't done it. So today I'm catching up with last month and this month. I found this on Facebook and it sums up exactly what I'm feeling.
In July I hit the 90lbs lost mark the day I saw my surgeon. To say he was delighted was an understatement. I follow up again for my 9 month mark in October. He basically told me to keep on keepin' on and that my pounds would not continue to fall off at the rate they had in the first six months.
I'm seeing that first hand and it's the results of two things in my opinion.
One - I can eat more! and I'm hungry! I can digest, without discomfort more food at one time. I think I liked it better when I was bitching and moaning that I couldn't eat anything. It's really frightening to be able to each more at each meal, and want to eat it. I had a colonoscopy last month too and Dr. Speakman's PA called to check up on me. She said as she was reading my chart and asked is this right? you've lost 90lbs since January. When I assured her that was right she went on and on about what a great job I'd done yada yada yada. When I voiced my fears about now liking more foods and being able to eat more volume she calmly told me 'You've got this!" you wouldn't have gotten where you are now if you didn't understand the principles. She says, when you're hungry other than mealtime, what are you eating? Are you reaching for chips, dips, candy sweets? When I assured her no I don't eat those things she again replied 'You've got this!". I've replayed that simple sentence many many times since that conversation and I think she's right
I've Got This!
Two - My food base has grown! I can eat such a variety of things now salad, fruit, nuts, a certain type of whole grain-whole seed cracker, bread thins, etc etc etc. Again SCARY! And again I stay away from carb laden foods like pastas, rice, potatoes, breads etc. I can eat the low card tortillas and I've found the best ones, in my opinion, are Tumaro's Low-in-Carb wraps. I'm not able to buy them locally here in Southern Utah but when I was home visiting family in April I got them at Fresh Express in the Vancouver/Portland area. If you're looking for a good low card, low fat wrap that doesn't turn to paste in your mouth try these even if you have to have them shipped to you! I also stay away from that "S" word SUGAR! I do have sugar, how can you not it's in just about everything prepared but I'm super careful about how much and what kind I eat. And really I don't have the cravings for sweets and chips. OMG is this me talking the bag-at-a time chip lady?
Things have changed and I'm so thankful for it. Clothes are fitting so much better. I'm in 18's and XL's now! and they fit, not suck it in and squeeze it in but pull it up and zip it with no problem. That's still a sigh moment each morning!
The scales are still moving downward a pound a week on average but I consume more calories each day and we've been away from the gym for two weeks, that has to make a difference as well. That old 'voice in the head' still haunts me. Well you may not make goal, you've never done it before, you may not loose anymore, this may be it. Finally I scream shut up and I'm pretty good for a while until the second cousin of the first crawls in my head with self doubts again. I think this will be pretty much an ongoing thing with me and it's something I'll just have to wrestle with for a good many years if not forever. After all it's easy to base your present on your past and my food/weight was not to stellar in the past instead of your present on what can become your future. Once I get below certain weight points I'm sure the good fairies will enter my grey matter and start cheering my on saying "See we told you you could do this!" It's a matter of concurring the old stumbling blocks the ones I've hit many times in this roller coaster ride of weight that are my pause moments. Then lo and behold I see the scales begin to move again and I think, no Patti this time is different, this time is forever and it's gonna keep moving on down until I hit goal - which for me is more a healthy BMI instead of a number on the scale.
Here's some a new pic for you. I posted it on Facebook with a disclosure regarding my new glasses, my new doo, and my 'just shy of' 100lb weight loss. I debated on whether to out myself this way. Close friends, family, those that have asked, my support group, etc know I had WLS but some many friends/family on Facebook didn't. But hey I'm happy with what I've done and with what I'm accomplishing. Perhaps one person that struggling will see this picture and that post and ask some questions that could change their lives forever as well. I'm most happy to talk about what I've been going through with anyone!
Taken 8-22-2015
We
have family here this weekend and we went to eat out twice since
they've been here. Once at the Black Bear diner where I scoured the
menu trying to decide what could I eat. I finally settled on a burger
with a lettuce wrap instead of bun, gave the two onion rings away and
opted for fruit instead of fries, hey I'm getting the hang of this and
the wait staff don't treat me like I'm wierd!
Last
night we hit Texas Roadhouse and I ended up with a house salad, which
was good and stayed put with no problem, I did ask for the dressing on
the side. For the main course I was surprised I had lots of options
and ended up with the ribs and fresh veggies (and I asked for no butter
on the veggies). I'm learning they don't care and I feel better knowing
I'm staying on track. Of course over half my meal came home in a doggy bag and I was
STUFFED. I'm still shaking my head, this journey is amazing.
So ok, I hope to be back tomorrow or the next day with the simple sentence. I broke 100 lbs lost. Even if it's next week or the week after I know it's gonna happen!
